Simple and straightforward steps you can take to help someone in crisis.
Seeing the familiar faces of beloved figures who have
died by suicide is a pain that’s hard to reconcile. We are left stunned and
saddened. How could this happen? How could someone so valued not feel their own
value? Waking up to news of these tragedies forcefully reminds us that suicide
is a real threat in our world. Depression and
despair can grip anyone. Some of us may be left worried about someone we love.
We may feel triggered, because we, too, have lost someone we care for, or fearful,
because we also know what it’s like to be in pain. The most important thing I
want people to remember is that the suicidal state
is almost always transient and temporary. People in this state are transfixed by
an internal enemy that attacks their true self, the side of them that wants to
live. Often, if we can reach people in crisis, we can save lives.
In the wake of high-profile people dying by suicide,
there is a risk of contagion. Now is the time to send the message loud and clear
that suicide is not the way out. Help is available 24/7. There are countless
stories of survival that prove that there is reason to be hopeful. The suicidal
crisis can be overcome, and your precious life is worth saving. If we are
worried about someone we think could be at risk, we should not be afraid to
reach out. Asking someone if they are thinking about suicide will not put the
idea in their head. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has put together
the #Bethe1to campaign to teach people the steps
they can take to help someone who may be suicidal. Bethe1to is part of a
coordinated and effective strategy that has been embraced by experts and
researchers in the field of suicidology. The steps are straightforward and
simple. If you want to know how to approach someone you’re worried about, here’s
what you can do:
1. Ask – When it comes to asking someone if they feel suicidal,
we should be direct. Ask, “Are you okay? Are you thinking about suicide? How can
I help?” Show the person that you care by paying attention and noticing. You may
say, “It seems like you’re in pain.” Take time to really listen and don’t be
judgmental about whatever they have to say. Try to help them focus in
on their reasons for living. People can feel relief when someone shows real care
and interest in what’s going on with them.
2. Keep them safe – Don’t leave the person alone. Stay with them until you
can get them help. Try to find out if they’ve taken any suicidal actions and if
they have a plan to take action. Ask them if they have they thought about a
means they would use? Remove any lethal means that the person could use to hurt
themselves. Your goal is to anything you can to put time and distance between
the person and their method. Keeping a person safe while they’re in this state
can help them get through the suicidal state.
3. Be there – One of the ways you can help protect someone who’s
suicidal is to help them feel connected. Make sure they know that they can ask
you for help whenever they’re in trouble. You can do a lot by always being a
good listener. In addition, you should help them identify other people who they
can turn to for help and ways they can stay connected to these people.
4. Help them connect – Accompany the person and do what you can to get them to
the help they need. If the person is in immediate danger, you can take them to
the emergency room. You can help them find a counseling center
or a therapist in their area. Make sure they have the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1(800)273-TALK
(8255) with them at all times. This hotline is free and available 24/7. You can
even be on the call with them. There are many suicide
prevention resources (listed at the end of this article) that can help a person
stay safe. These include text and chat lines as well as phone apps.
Help the person in making a safety plan, a plan to
assist them whenever they’re in distress, that will remind them how to help
themselves and reach out in order to stay alive and safe. The plan includes
steps they commit to taking when they feel suicidal. You can consistently make
an effort to help the person connect to the strategies that have helped them
feel better and have worked for them in the past. Always seek ways to help them
reconnect to their positive feelings and desire to live.
5. Follow up – Stick in there. Keep checking in with the person after
you’ve gotten them to help. Let them know that you’re there whenever they need
you. Being there for them when they are in a self-destructive state can help
them get through the crisis they’re experiencing until they reconnect to the
part of themselves that wants to live. Following up shows how much you care and
can help the person stay feeling connected.
Learn more about these
steps here.
Seeing a friend in a suicidal state is really
difficult, but taking these the steps can truly offer a path to a person in
crisis toward the help they need. Today, there are therapymethods
and treatment approaches that have proven effective in saving people from
suicide. You can be the bridge getting them to that help. Each time we get
between a person and their plan to hurt themselves, we increase their chances of
staying alive long-term.
When it comes to the suicidal state, hope is always on
the horizon. There are so many people with vastly different stories and
circumstances who tell stories of surviving a suicidal crisis and going on to
live a life they love, of people who are grateful they
survived, and of individuals who are now thriving. I and my colleagues at The
Glendon Association have personal experience hearing people say that one
message, one small act of outreach saved their life. Anyone who is in crisis
should hear these stories of hope and know that things can get better, and a
good place to hear these stories is livethroughthis.org. Anyone
struggling should know that your present pain is real, but that does not mean it
will last forever. You can beat this internal enemy and return to the reality
that, whether it feels that way or not right now, your life matters. The most
important thing you can do is take any action you can to stay alive.
Resources: Phone, Text and
Chat Lines, Apps, and Webinars
National Suicide Prevention
Lifeline (Call or Chat Online)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is
available 24/7 at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), and their website also has an online chat feature. You can contact them
anytime if you’re worried that you or someone you know may be in crisis.
Crisis Text Line
There is a 24/7 Crisis Text Line available, where you
can text trained crisis counselors. The text line is free and confidential and
can be reached by texting “GO” TO 741741.
APPS:
There are many APPS available that have been created
to help people access the resources and tools they need when they’re in
distress. These include: ASK and Prevent Suicide, Suicide Crisis Support, Virtual Hope Box, and My3
Safety Plan App.
If you — or someone you know — need help, please
call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention
Lifeline. If you are outside of the
U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for
a database of international resources.
WEBINAR:
Watch a free Webinar with the Director of the
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Dr. John Draper, discussing effective
methods to help a suicidal person
GET HELP:
IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN CRISIS OR IN NEED OF
IMMEDIATE HELP, CALL 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
This is a free hotline available 24 hours a day to anyone in emotional distress
or suicidal crisis.
International readers can click here for a list of helplines and crisis centers around the world.
Click here to locate a therapist in your area.
For more Suicide Prevention Advice and Resources visit
our Suicide Prevention Advice Page
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